I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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