my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
