So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
