this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
