i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
