do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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