You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
