You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
