I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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