Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just want to make out with him forever
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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