Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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