The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
