I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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