I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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