How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
