I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
