Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
