Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
