Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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