i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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