Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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