you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
