it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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