i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
