she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
