Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
