A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
