...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
