Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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