so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
