I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
