just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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