my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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