so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
