If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
