that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
