we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
