just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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