You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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