i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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