this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
