I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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