Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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