I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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