so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
