He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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