Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
