Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So squirting runs in the family.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
