i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
