you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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