i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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