So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
