i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We need a shit load of segways right now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
